MEREDITH
[ 00:00:05 ] Welcome back, Portugal Junkies. Hello, hello. We've missed you. A whole week has passed.
Mark
[ 00:00:15 ] And it's gone real quick.
MEREDITH
[ 00:00:17 ] I feel like time moves differently in the Algarve.
Mark
[ 00:00:20 ] It does. It really does. I don't know if it's good or bad, though. I have to take something back that I said on a video that you took of me. What was it about? I don't know, mate. It's probably not even more than a week and a bit that we've been here. And I said the one thing I love about the Algarve is the fact I don't have to worry about whether I take an umbrella. And these last four days.
MEREDITH
[ 00:00:45 ] Only four? I feel like it's been a week. Well, maybe five.
Mark
[ 00:00:47 ] But these last few days, yeah, it's rained. So at least we're getting them out of the way. We're only expecting 50-odd days a year.
MEREDITH
[ 00:00:55 ] Yes, we came in here talking about and raving about how amazing it is that the Algarve is here. Tevira in particular only gets like 50 days of rain, and we've had at least six of some sort of rain in the past week. And it's the hurricanes that are making their way; tropical storms, cyclones. But we won't complain because as we talk about that to the locals around here.
Mark
[ 00:01:23 ] I'm looking directly in front of me and I can see blue sky.
MEREDITH
[ 00:01:26 ] But I was also going to say that the locals are like, 'Hey, we don't complain when it rains here. No, absolutely.
Mark
[ 00:01:31 ] It needs it.'
MEREDITH
[ 00:01:32 ] There's often drought here. Very much so. Well, it hasn't stopped us from our topic today, which is that we've been very social. You have. He says this because if you don't know, I might have talked about this on the podcast before. I don't know. I probably referenced it. Yes. I spent most of my life thinking that I was believing people when they told me I was an extrovert only to realize, like, 'I don't know,' like 42 or 43, how I'm not absolutely not because I never really understood. Like, I mean, I always just associated being an extrovert with just being really sociable and friendly and outgoing. And I am all those things. But I read one day that the difference between introverts and extroverts are really how they get their energy.
Mark
[ 00:02:37 ] Okay.
MEREDITH
[ 00:02:39 ] And so an introvert gets their energy from quiet time and like recharging and being alone or not being around a bunch of people. And some people who are, well, you know, people who are extroverts, they get their energy from people feeding off groups of people, like all of that. So, yeah, I it's a long winded way. It's a long winded way of saying I'm the introvert of us and you're probably not going to believe that, but it's true. And I also, you know, I used to do theater and perform and stuff. And so I think people just automatically boxed me into that.
Mark
[ 00:03:13 ] If you're willing to step out in front of 100, 200, however many people and perform and sing and act and such, how the heck can you be an introvert? Many actors are, though. I'm now aware of that. It's something I wasn't.
SPEAKER_3
[ 00:03:29 ] So do you think you're an extrovert? Um, I don't know. Where do you get your energy?
Mark
[ 00:03:37 ] Where's the test I can take?
SPEAKER_3
[ 00:03:39 ] Where do you think you get your recharge and energy from?
Mark
[ 00:03:43 ] Well, both. I get it from relaxing. Okay, well, can I be an introvert?
MEREDITH
[ 00:03:49 ] For someone who's very black and white in the way they look at life, you can't say I'll be both.
Mark
[ 00:03:55 ] Yes, true. But I do sometimes find it difficult to be black and white about myself because I confuse myself as to whether I'm this or that and that.
MEREDITH
[ 00:04:06 ] Well, maybe by the end of our talk, don't worry.
Mark
[ 00:04:08 ] Maybe. Talk back to me.
MEREDITH
[ 00:04:09 ] We do want to talk. This is what we decided we were going to talk about today, which I, I think it's a topic that this has not, this is not just about like in the lens of being an immigrant, but it's making friends in general, um, as immigrants. Yes. As mid-lifers, as introverts versus extroverts. Like it's come up a lot since we moved here because we've been so social and it's kind of not.
Mark
[ 00:04:44 ] I'll take that back a little bit. I'll take it back. We've been a lot more social here.
MEREDITH
[ 00:04:49 ] That's what I mean.
Mark
[ 00:04:50 ] More than important.
MEREDITH
[ 00:04:51 ] When we moved here.
Mark
[ 00:04:53 ] Yeah. I just want to clarify. Okay. Here. Yes, you're right. Here. Okay.
MEREDITH
[ 00:04:57 ] To the algorithm. Yeah. Our recent move. We have definitely seen. A change in our willingness to be social.
Mark
[ 00:05:05 ] Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know.
MEREDITH
[ 00:05:08 ] We're both homebodies in a lot of ways. I don't know. Yeah.
Mark
[ 00:05:10 ] I mean, I don't know specifically whether it's because it's much nicer weather to go out and walk or it can't even be that because Porto weather was absolutely wonderful for the large part. Um, so I don't even know if it's about that. I think if I kind of drill down a bit to me. It's a smaller community. This, you know, Tavira is almost like two neighborhoods of Porto or like one whole thing of Tavira is equal to, you know, so I think that the identity of Tavira is very easy to see compared to identity of Porto and the neighborhoods, and the different, whether it's commercial, whether it's residential, whether it's industrial. But what does that have to do with friends? I think because for me, it means that if I want to go out and happen across a restaurant, uh, any, any sort of interaction with somebody, a shop, I think I'm going to find it much easier here than I would in certain neighborhoods in Porto.
MEREDITH
[ 00:06:19 ] It's interesting. We, we've like tried to process a little bit of this over the last couple of days when we were thinking about doing this episode, because I think it's a really important topic, not only for people who are thinking about moving abroad, because that's probably the lens that many people who might be listening or watching or thinking about it, right? Like, I'm worried about moving abroad because how am I going to build an entire new community? Right. Um, and it's a valid concern, but I think it's a bigger, I feel like it's a bigger, broader topic than just the immigrant piece of it. Like, I mean, it just seems so different here for me. And I. I want to, so we want to explore that a little bit in the podcast today. So let's start with, why do you think it's harder to make friends at this stage of life in general?
Mark
[ 00:07:13 ] Okay. Oh, you're ready. Well, I think so because you know, my, my black and white has suddenly kicked in. I think the, what was the question? My black and white kicked in and I forgot what I was talking about.
MEREDITH
[ 00:07:30 ] I said midlife and here we are in crisis. Why do you think it's harder to make friends at this stage in our life?
Mark
[ 00:07:39 ] Well, probably one is to do with memory. Number two, I don't remember who they are. No, I think it's harder. Um, just because, you know, at 53, um, you've built a resistance to idiots. You've built a resistance to wonderful people. Yeah. And I think ultimately you've got this defense, firewall, whatever you want to call it, that you're not 18 going out to the clubs, pubs and all that sort of stuff. And you know, anybody that you meet is going to be a friend automatically. And you're going to go and hang out. I think there's a, um, a reservation about how you want to spend the time that you are out social or being social.
MEREDITH
[ 00:08:30 ] Or just in general. How do you want to spend your time? Listen, we moved across an ocean because we wanted to change how we were spending our lives and our time and our years. Right. And we still don't know what that's going to end up being, but we knew that the existing situation was not what we wanted. So I think it definitely ties into friendships here. And I say here, meaning, you know, our current situation and our current stage of life, because yeah, I mean, when I think about it for myself, I have had a lot of really great friends in my life. People I would throw myself in front of a bus for, and I've, I've, uh, gathered them at different stages of my life. And there are a couple from each stage of my life that just has stuck. Right. Because of many reasons. It's a lot of your experiences together. It's that. It's that they know you and you don't have to be anything but yourself, which is a hard place to get to with new people. And I think that's the crux of it, but I've been very lucky. So sometimes my defense mechanisms are, do I really need more friends? Do I want to put the effort in, right, to building new friendships? And of course I sit here and I say that, and I don't mean it to come across like I don't mean anybody else. Right. I don't, I don't mean it to come across that way, but it is the truth I think at midlife because you've been those things that you said where it's like you, you've maybe been duped by some where it's like you thought they were someone and they turned out to not be who they, what they presented themselves to be, especially in the Trump era. I mean, there have been a lot of times where I'm shocked by people and their belief systems later on where I'm like, 'I never would have pegged that for you.' Right.
Mark
[ 00:10:40 ] Again, everybody's got an opportunity or everyone's got their own belief space to think what they want to think. But I also have my space that I can choose to cut you off and cut you out of my life. Right. So if I believe that's going to be toxic to me, so, you know, I think that trying to make friends isn't about a quantity thing. I think it's about a quality thing. Oh, me too. I've always felt that way. For instance, moving from the UK to the States eight, eight years ago, seven and a half years ago. Okay. I moved there not knowing one single person. Not a person. Not one single person.
MEREDITH
[ 00:11:17 ] So I swiped him up.
Mark
[ 00:11:19 ] Like he me. Um, but you go there in the full hope that, you know, you're not going to be the person that you're going to find your network, your people. And I found one or two, but largely my friends were your friends because we aligned so well and you and your friends obviously aligned in the same way. So it's very simple to say simple, it's very easy to relax into that situation because you already know they're of like, of a like person.
MEREDITH
[ 00:11:50 ] Or you get what you need from those relationships without feeling like I have to go out and find my own peace. Right.
Mark
[ 00:11:58 ] And again, it's like sort of tagging on to somebody else is friendships, but at the same time, all the guys and girls in the state, hello, um, you know, they've accepted, they accepted me straight away.
SPEAKER_3
[ 00:12:12 ] Right. And they're real. And it's not. Yes.
Mark
[ 00:12:14 ] It's not a phony. It's not a fake. It's not like, 'Oh, let's go and do this.' Yeah. So, you know, and again, having done that once and then coming here, um, we both, when we moved here. Yeah. We didn't know a soul in Porto. And when we moved down here, we knew one person from a night of drinking. And let's give a little shout out. That's right.
MEREDITH
[ 00:12:39 ] So, let's talk about how social we've been.
SPEAKER_3
[ 00:12:41 ] Right. Okay.
MEREDITH
[ 00:12:42 ] Let's, let's really put the frame. And my friends will be like, I've already told them a little bit about this, but, uh, and a lot of their reactions are, are you all right?' Because I am not like this usually. I'm not, um, I don't understand. I wouldn't say I'm not open because a lot of people would say that is just not true about you, but it's, it feels like, um, in the past, it's been very hard for me post 40. I'll say post 40 to really be in a place where I'm like open to being really social and going out to meetups and meeting new people and the energy that it takes. And I think that it has to do with the fact that it feels like work for someone who is an introvert. Sometimes. So I'm going to, let's, let's talk about, let's, let's share what we've been doing. So we, we got here not even a month ago or maybe it's the beginning of the month, 28, 28. So what? Two and a half, three weeks. We immediately. So, precursor, when we came to Tavira twice before we moved here, um, we met Corey who came up. Hi Corey. Hi Corey. She came up to us at, uh, um, yeah, the black anchor Irish pub on the river where we were having beers, where we were asking the bartender, like, what's it like to live here? What's it like in the winter? Are things like really close? You know, is it just become a ghost town? And she heard us. She's originally from California. She's moved here. She's been here almost two years. She came over, she had pink hair in, uh, baseball things on her head. She was adorable. And she was about my age. I don't know what you call them. I can't remember. Poof balls. Whatever. Anyway, she'll laugh at me.
Mark
[ 00:14:28 ] I don't think that was any better.
MEREDITH
[ 00:14:31 ] She'll laugh at me. And she came up to us and introduced herself and gave us the inside scoop on some things. And I immediately was like, oh yeah, I get her. Like I, she's, she's just, I don't know, herself. Like she's authentically who she is. And I just drive her people like that. So, um, we met. So long story short, um, we kept in touch with her. And so over the past two or three months we've kept in touch and said, Hey, we're moving. And she's just like, I'm so excited. And it just felt like we already had a friend here and we did. And so immediately, like within the first four or five days, she came over and had dinner, and we literally sat here until one in the morning. I think we drank five bottles of wine between the three of us.
Mark
[ 00:15:15 ] It was like six and a half hours.
MEREDITH
[ 00:15:17 ] It was so much fun. Yeah. So that's one example. Then we went to a meetup, which is thankfully, Corey led us there though. Like she, she welcomed us to the meetup and like, you know, here you're new. Here are those people type of thing.
Mark
[ 00:15:34 ] Here are those people.
MEREDITH
[ 00:15:35 ] Right.
Mark
[ 00:15:35 ] Um, but I will say the whole time. So that was within like 10 days. Yeah, it was in the first week. Yeah. The whole time that we were in Porto, we never went to one meetup despite saying, 'Oh, there's a meetup over in El Corte Inglés.' Why? Let's go to that. I don't know. For whatever reason, we never did. And there were other meetups with internationals or, you know, whole culture groups of different people, different ages. And it just never seemed to happen. Whether it's because, as we've said in the past, whether it's because is Porto our final place or not. Maybe we knew it wasn't. And therefore, if you invest it, going back to what I said, if you invest that time and energy.
SPEAKER_3
[ 00:16:14 ] And then you leave.
Mark
[ 00:16:14 ] And then you leave. Okay. You create a friendship for the time that you're there. We're there. And you may be there with that person. And if you go back, that'd be great, because you can pick up the conversation. And then maybe they've moved or they haven't. Who knows? But I think that doing what we've done here, has felt like it's on fast forward compared to the first X months in Porto. Absolutely.
MEREDITH
[ 00:16:39 ] You also made me think too, that I think a lot of this, for me and my processing of this, it has to do with, I mean, I've referenced this before-four, but because I'm at Enneagram four, we don't like typically, uh, bullshit conversations. Like we, it's okay to, you know, when you're getting to know someone, I guess like small talk type stuff. But in general, Enneagram fours are always searching for like a deep, meaningful conversation with someone or relationships with someone. And the other surface stuff is not as interesting. And so it just came to me because I hadn't even thought about this when we were even talking about doing this podcast. But I think that is part of it for me too. I don't have the energy for the, the surface level stuff, which means I, I have, if I'm going to have friendships, I have to invest the energy into the right people, you know? So Corey has welcomed us and we adore her. And she helped kind of like get us into the, I don't say get us into the meetup, like being our comfort blanket in the meetup because we knew at least one person. And then she was like, you know, kind of introducing us to people there. But at the meetup, we met another couple who is, um, it's a lady from Seattle and her husband from Ireland originally. He's lived in the States since like 1984 or something. But immediately had so much in common with them because of that situation and, um, just immediately again felt like, oh, these might be our people. And sure enough, they are. So, we ended up going to have a curry the other night, sat there for hours talking and laughing. In the pelting rain.
SPEAKER_3
[ 00:18:37 ] Oh yeah.
MEREDITH
[ 00:18:37 ] And well, we weren't eating in the rain, but yes, it was raining all around us. Um, we just had a fabulous time. And I not only connected with her, I connected with them, you know? And so it was one of those things where it's like, oh, this could really be, I really dig this potential, um, friendship that we're building. And what else? What else have we done? We met, oh, tell the story about Jeannie.
Mark
[ 00:19:09 ] There's a story about Jeannie. Well, we went, I was going to get my head in the sand. She's ready for a haircut. First, first haircut. And again, this comes into how do you find your people, you know, trying to find the new barber. Because barber in Porto I've been there. The only person I've been to for nine months of so, um, and he was absolutely fantastic. And, and then you go find your new services, your new person for this, sorts of things. Yeah. And I found him. Um, so he was really, really good. But we walked, we went off in the morning, sat down, had a coffee. I went off, and you stayed in the coffee shop well, a couple of day you make it to three days prior to that, I think was the day before, a day before, okay. A lady Eugenie had messaged or emailed us about you know her experiences living in Tvera and from the podcast, yeah, she just found us, and so, you know, if there was chance could we meet up for a cup of coffee, plus a wine, well, obviously, the latter, but you know, because when in Rome. And and so, I walked off to go to my point, and what within three minutes maybe I was sitting there finishing my coffee, and this lady approaches me, and she goes
MEREDITH
[ 00:20:33 ] 'Meredith', and I was like, yeah. She goes, 'Gee!' It was hilarious, like, I literally just read her email, and was getting ready to respond, and here she is. And I know this is a small town, right?
Mark
[ 00:20:50 ] But that's small what, like 20,
MEREDITH
[ 00:20:52 ] 000 people or something right but the fact that like within a day to be while like sitting at a coffee shop and her walk by and recognize me and then also be willing to like say hello and be like Like, is that you? Right. So we ended up, we did end up meeting for a drink the next day or two days later. Two days. Had a fabulous time talking with her. Yep. So again, it's all of these potential really good friendships that could come out of honestly just putting ourselves out there more than we have. Yeah.
Mark
[ 00:21:30 ] And I know that that's-You're going to get out of it what you put in.
SPEAKER_3
[ 00:21:33 ] Yeah, you are.
Mark
[ 00:21:34 ] And, you know, what you put in is really dependent on the people that you're investing that time and that energy with. And sometimes you're not going to know that in the moment and it is what it is at the time. But I think most, well, so I'll speak for us in our years, you know, the old bullshit defender goes on. Years ago. Bullshit defender. So my dad was in the army. Okay. You're finished. But I'll come. I don't know if I've mentioned this ever. But dad was in the army and one of the things he would do is he would be teaching all the troops about various things within that. Anyway, he was giving a big presentation to a group, group squad members, and he knew that there were going to be lots of, like, the officers there and the officers are like, oh, hoity-toity and this sort of stuff. So he got this piece of card. Like, I don't know, like a postcard size. Cut out a little bit and wrote on it, 'bullshit defender'. And he put it on his ear. So that as he's walking around, he's got on his ear this card with a sign saying 'bullshit defender'. So essentially. I never had a sword. No, it just occurred to me. That was when I was maybe 14.
MEREDITH
[ 00:22:57 ] So you just call people's bullshit. Yeah. That's the point of the story.
Mark
[ 00:23:00 ] It's like I'm defending myself against your bullshit.
MEREDITH
[ 00:23:02 ] So, defense mechanism. Is that where you're going with this?
Mark
[ 00:23:05 ] Yeah. I think it's a visual defense mechanism. But, you know.
MEREDITH
[ 00:23:10 ] You have to be vulnerable in order to make friends.
Mark
[ 00:23:13 ] Yeah. I mean, you've got both sides have to step forward.
MEREDITH
[ 00:23:18 ] Yes.
Mark
[ 00:23:19 ] To know whether it's going to work or not. Is it worth a try? Is it just a fleeting high buy? Right. And I think that's one of the things when we were talking about this, you know, for me, it's, you know, are you an acquaintance, a friend, true friend, or just somebody that you interact with, like on a daily basis. So you're walking down the high street and here and Praminder, who I had a really nice conversation with at the Indian restaurant, would I call him an acquaintance or a friend? No. Was he an interaction that was great? Absolutely. Somebody you know, and you would say hi to. And walk past him now, like today or tomorrow, whatever. He's going to be somebody. Somebody that would say hello and I would stop and say hello and have a little chat. Now, is it going to go any further than that? Don't know. Again, just no real way of knowing. There wasn't a scenario at that time for it to develop. But it might in the future. Who knows?
MEREDITH
[ 00:24:19 ] Yeah. And I think.
Mark
[ 00:24:21 ] I think you just have to be ready to explore those opportunities if you feel that's an opportunity you want to explore. I know that sounds weird.
MEREDITH
[ 00:24:31 ] No, I think that you're right. You have to be willing to be open, you have to be willing to be vulnerable, and that's a scary place to be, especially mid-life, because you and I are best friends, and there's a lot that, you know, in the past, because I have a lot of other friends that fill my life up and fill my cup up, in addition to you, my husband, who is my best friend, it almost feels like, hmm, Meredith, your dance card is full. And what a lucky and fortunate place to be. Yeah. But then, I do believe that there's a part of me that's just not, there's a part of me that's only saying that and doing that, because it's a defense mechanism, because you do have to be vulnerable. Even with Corey the other night, when we were having dinner here, and we're sitting there talking, and I, you know. Absolutely. She's just so authentically herself and unapologetic, and I love that. I love that in people. A lot of my friends are very much that way. And I felt like I needed to say to her, look, I'm an introvert, and sometimes I'm going to tell you that I'm going to go to the meetup, and then I'm going to say, no, I don't want to go to the meetup. And I want you to understand from this minute, like at the beginning of our conversation, that has nothing to do with you. Right. It's like, but I felt like I had to, it's almost like you've got to put the cards on the table so that people start to know exactly who you are, so that it's not like a misunderstanding or offense.
Mark
[ 00:26:15 ] But this goes back to what I was saying at the beginning, and that is that you're going to find out pretty quick who your people, who your tribe will be, who your friends are going to be.
MEREDITH
[ 00:26:26 ] But we didn't find that out in Porto.
Mark
[ 00:26:28 ] No, but we didn't put ourselves out anywhere near as much as we have here. No, I agree. Nowhere near as much. It's really interesting. And for me, that was bizarre because, you know, I thought I would be like, yeah, let's go out every day and blah, blah, blah. And yeah, we did kind of go out most days. But I wasn't, I don't know if it was me or if it was just the situation. But I will say this, that when you watch or read through some of the Facebook forums for expat immigrant groups, and there are tons of them out. There are tons of them out there where you've got people of different nationalities, not just American, but just different nationalities saying, you know, I've been in X city for eight months and I haven't met a soul. Can anybody tell me where I can meet people? And you can really feel for those people that, you know, did they think that moving to a new country, to a new city, they were going to be instantly have that, you know, have this network of friendship? Because I got to say, unless it's already pre-populated or built somehow, it doesn't happen in our experience. It doesn't happen like that because you've got to go out and invest the time and the energy in wanting to grow that. Because if you don't, why would somebody else? So at that point, you're never going to meet.
MEREDITH
[ 00:27:52 ] It's very much like dating. I mean, that's the truth; it is very much like that. As someone who didn't meet my person until I was 38, those years from, for 20 years or something of dating-just being either lonely or led you one step closer to me. They did. But the similarity of dating is that you're not going to meet people sitting on the couch. Right. And if really what you want is true friendships and true tribe, whether it's quality over quantity or not, if you want to build a community, you do have to be willing to put yourself out there, be vulnerable and put some energy into these potential relationships. It's just like dating because I remember, I remember, don't you remember when I was dating? We first started dating. I was like, can't we just fast forward?
Mark
[ 00:28:44 ] Yes.
MEREDITH
[ 00:28:44 ] Like, not that I didn't want to savor every minute, but I also wanted to be and know that you had a history. Yes, I kept saying, 'I can't wait until we have all these memories.' Right. And then when we started having the memories, I was like, 'oh, we're there.' You know? It just, it's the same thing. It's anything worth having is worth the work and the energy that you need to put into it. And I think for a time, it's been very easy for me to say, 'do I really need or want that?' And I think that that's kind of short-sighted for me at 45.
Mark
[ 00:29:26 ] I do think you do. But I think that those people that are going to be there. Those people that are going to add to your, as you put it, your dance card, they have to be quality. They don't have to be quantity. And I think. Oh, yeah.
MEREDITH
[ 00:29:38 ] I could care less about how many friends I have.
Mark
[ 00:29:40 ] I mean, again, to the case, moving to the States, didn't know a single person. Moving from the States to here, didn't know a single person. Knew Corey. But that was it. And even that was just like one, no, two nights of going out for a drink. You know, so I just think that. It's not an easy task at this age, at any age, but specifically at this age, it's not an easy task.
MEREDITH
[ 00:30:10 ] I'm also very.
Mark
[ 00:30:11 ] So don't underestimate how lonely it can be if you're moving from one country to another with your spouse, whoever. But know that it's, you know, unless something just happens to fall on your lap. And in terms of friendships and people that you come across that instantly chill. You're still going. I have to go out and explore and put yourself and put yourself.
MEREDITH
[ 00:30:35 ] I also think from an immigrant perspective, it, you automatically have something in common here. If you're, if you're meeting up with other immigrants, you know. Yeah, that's a good point. You literally done something that few people do. And you might have different reasons for it, but you have had that common experience as well. So that, that kind of automatically. Yeah. Makes you go. Oh, okay. So we have something common here. I think that what it really comes down to is at this point in my life, I'm very protective of my time. I'm very, I'm very protective of like, and it goes back to what I said about like not wanting any like surface level crap. But to me, that's just a waste of time. But I want to spend time and do things that I enjoy with people that I enjoy. If it's not that, then I'm fine. And that is kind of a defense mechanism, but it's also being strategic about like what I want life to look like and having relationships that add to my life, not become a pain in the ass of my life type of thing. Yeah.
Mark
[ 00:31:53 ] But I do think it's something that, you know, when we were, when we were thinking of moving, how much thought did we really give, are we going to find friends, do we need more friends, you know?
MEREDITH
[ 00:32:09 ] Did you think about that?
Mark
[ 00:32:11 ] I don't know that I. I don't really know that I did. I don't know that I did. I don't know that it ever really occurred to me to think that because of what I'd done before moving with zero friends. So how is this going to be any different, especially when I'm moving with my best friend?
SPEAKER_4
[ 00:32:26 ] Yeah, you know?
Mark
[ 00:32:28 ] So my cup is always going to be full because we have each other.
SPEAKER_4
[ 00:32:32 ] Yeah.
Mark
[ 00:32:32 ] But at the same time, you know, there's always room for a couple of different cups or, you know, for different friendships. So yeah, I don't know. I don't think I thought about it as much and to that, even if I had, it certainly wouldn’t have stopped me.
MEREDITH
[ 00:32:51 ] Yeah. It wasn’t a worry. I guess I was hopeful. Hmm. It’s just like when you’re doing anything new where you’re like, sky’s the limit. You never know what’s going to happen. That type of lens to it. But I was never really worried. But I, it’s interesting. Like it didn’t deter. It wasn’t a deterrent. I wasn’t worried about it. But I can see how some people would be, especially if you’re making the move to another country or to any place alone. Right? And I don’t know. It’s just interesting. It's just interesting. I don't, I don't think I was in an anxious state about it, but it's interesting to reflect on it now and go, huh, this is a very different experience in Tavira for us than it was in Porto. And I do, I do believe that it comes down to maybe we just knew that we were enjoying Porto for the, for the time that we were there. And so it felt a little defeatist to really invest in like, really become attached to people. Right. That we were eventually gonna leave.
Mark
[ 00:33:56 ] Yeah, I know. You know, to that point, being here for this short period of time that we've been here, and you've asked me a couple of times, you know, or we, we, we've spoken about, do we think this is our place? I definitely think this is 100% more my place than Porto would ever be.
SPEAKER_4
[ 00:34:13 ] Yeah.
Mark
[ 00:34:14 ] I don't know if it's going to be the one, as they say, but I'm definitely more willing to invest time and effort. And energy into having conversations with people and seeing where those conversations go into acquaintances and then into friendships or directly into a friendship or whatever it is. Definitely more willing to do that.
MEREDITH
[ 00:34:36 ] Yeah. Here.
Mark
[ 00:34:37 ] And I don't know if it's just because it's got sunnier skies, warmer weather, fantastic beach. I, I honestly don't know, but I do think that all of those factors make part of the decision. Yeah. Because if you, if you enjoy where you live, it's going to help secure that's probably where you are going to stay. And if that's where you're going to stay, it's nice to have a network of people and friendships and acquaintances that you can help and can help you. Right. You know, so, so there is that for, for sure. We are always a social animal in that sense. Yeah.
MEREDITH
[ 00:35:18 ] 100%.
Mark
[ 00:35:18 ] Not just you and I, but humans. Humans. Humans. Human beings. Human beings. Homo sapiens. Yeah. Thank you. Just for the tech. But I, I, I'm certainly enjoying exploring the friendship element here farther than I. Yes. We've had an amazing month. It's been, it's been fantastic. And it's not even been a month.
MEREDITH
[ 00:35:38 ] I know. And I'm very thankful. So I give it, I give it to my, my new friends, our new friends. Yes. Thank you for welcoming us like you have, and I'm just excited that we have connections forming, you know, and I think it's important that we just keep pushing and being willing to put ourselves out there on those things. Just like anything else. It's, it's worth the effort when you find the right connections with people.
Mark
[ 00:36:05 ] Definitely. Definitely. So.
MEREDITH
[ 00:36:08 ] So cheers with the coffee mugs.
Mark
[ 00:36:10 ] Cheers with, thank you Ikea.
MEREDITH
[ 00:36:14 ] Thanks you guys. We will see you next time.
SPEAKER_4
[ 00:36:17 ] Yep.
MEREDITH
[ 00:36:18 ] If you are enjoying the program. This podcast, please go on to your favorite platform and give us a review. We would love any review and any comment and sharing and liking and where we are wanting to reach even more people. Just like Jeannie who found us crazily out of the blue and we're so, we're just so thankful. So anyway, um, pass it along and we really appreciate your support and we'll talk to you next week.
Mark
[ 00:36:49 ] Absolutely. Take care.
MEREDITH
[ 00:36:50 ] Cheers y
Mark
[ 00:36:51 ] 'all. Bye bye.
SPEAKER_2
[ 00:36:52 ] Listen up, future expats! For more content about our move, the visa process, Portuguese culture and destinations, and tons of support resources for your own decisions and potential move abroad. Follow us on Instagram and Tik Tok at Portugal Junkies.
Mark
[ 00:37:10 ] Stay in touch and help us reach more people by subscribing here and following us there.
SPEAKER_2
[ 00:37:16 ] Cheers y'all!